Oxi KI ALLO chainmail, xriste mou...

[THEMiS PAPASSiLEKAS]

(Ξέρω ότι πολοί το ξέρετε. Οι υπόλοιποι, μαθαίνετε...)

VALiS


Warning: The Badtimes virus...



If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes,"

delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most

dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive.

Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even

close to your computer. It will recalibrate your

refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes

melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit

cards, mess up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace

field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will

give your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number. It

will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your

Pepsi and leave its socks out on the coffee table when

there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in

the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car

keys when you are late for work.



Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will

give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar

in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while

dating your current boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back

and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. It

will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is

dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond

the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves

your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.

It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on

your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and

subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also

a rather interesting shade of mauve.



Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the

toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in

your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while

it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new

snowblower. These are just a few signs... be very careful!



THIS IS A JOKE for those of you who will wonder.


--
[Reality is that, which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- P.K.Dick]




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